Kat Dancing

My mother's birthday was yesterday. It revealed a few amusing differences - and similarities - in the family.

I went on Powell's and ordered Guy Gavriel Kay's newest for her about a week and a half ago - cutting it a little close, but the book got here on time, so I figured it was all okay.

Two days before her birthday, my brother started talking about how he needed to go shopping.

The day before her birthday he was panicking about where he was going to find time to go shopping. When there was still no sign of his leaving at one o'clock, I took pity on him and mentioned it to Mom in suitably vague terms. She understood me perfectly, of course, but it's tactful to be vague in these circumstances. (At least, so people tell me, and having no native tact myself I pretty much have to take it on faith.)

"You'd better talk to your father about giving him some time off," she said.

"Okay. Where's Dad?"

"I don't know."

I went looking for my father. I didn't find him, but I did find that Mom's car was missing. So was mine.

Apparently they'd both gone... shopping.

But that wasn't the amusing bit.

In due time the bro came home with his shopping bag and showed off his swag to me, rather anxiously. My parents are getting increasingly interested in wine, so he'd bought her a wine rack. I told him it was nice (it was) and that she'd love it, and so on, and he went off reassured.

The next morning we all said happy birthday to Mom and she and Dad went off for their cheese-delivery-slash-shopping trip. I noticed that the bro was looking a little glum.

"What's up?"

"You know how Dad went shopping yesterday?"

"Yeah?"

"He bought her a wine rack too."

... but that still wasn't the funny bit.

So poor bro was still out a present, but he at least had an idea: he could get her one of those little things you put wine on the table in with water all around it. A wine cooler. (Not to be confused with the disgusting little drinky things.) The trouble was, how was he going to get time to go get one?

'Well, Staff is doing a cheese delivery to a winery today," I said. "Why don't you see if he'll pick you one up?"

There were many phone calls, but in the end, the bro had a present, and he was happy, and we could all get on with our day.

In due time the parents returned from their shopping trip (with no rear window in the car, but that's another story.) Mom had gotten an entire day of shopping in without Dad complaining, so she was happy, and Dad was able to take the bro aside and tell him that, since he knew the two of them had gotten the same present, and he knew bro would never have time to go shopping again, and they were in a winery anyway, he'd bought Mom...

All right, all together now....

That was the funny bit.

So now there is a lot of excess wine paraphenalia stored in various people's closets and we all have to be very, very careful not to talk about it in front of Mom. But it was a good birthday anyway; the bro made cake, I made gnocchi, Dad grilled tuna, and we ate ourselves silly and drank loads of wine and had fun. That's what counts.

I should probably start nagging the bro about Christmas shopping now, though, 'cause I don't want to go through this again.