Happy Thinly Disguised Pagan Ritual Day!

05 April, 2015

It went much better this year, largely because I didn't tell kidlet it was Easter until after she'd gotten up. (This also meant we didn't get to dye eggs together, but that was more a matter of bad timing.) This saved me from last year's debacle, when I was woken at ten to six by heavy breathing in my ear and "Mom... let's see if the Easter Bunny took our eggs and hid them!"* I also had a better grasp on her mental capabilities this year and so the finding was done with only very minimal prompting this time. Dan stayed in bed, on the grounds that he was sleepy and also Jewish, but as he drove to the store at 10 pm because the Easter Bunny forgot to buy a chocolate rabbit he is still a hero of the revolution.

And yes, the chocolate bunny was it for candy. Someday she's going to see all these Facebook photos of other kids with their Easter hauls, and the local Easter Bunny is going to be in so much trouble


* The Easter Bunny had not. The Easter Bunny set her alarm for six. Luckily, her incoherent explanation of how Mommy was going to go check but in the meantime it was vital that everyone stay inside and not look out any windows mostly worked. It is amazing how proud parenting makes you of successfully fooling a two-year-old.

Things About Hide and Seek That Kidlet Doesn't Get

12 March, 2015
  1. Hiding.
  2. Once convinced you are, in fact, obligated to hide, the necessity of hiding in such a way that they can't see you. Standing in the middle of the room with your eyes covered does not cut it. Putting your head under the blankets is slightly better, but still runs into the age-old conundrum of "I can see your butt."
  3. Once you have found a hiding place that conceals the majority of your body parts, remembering that your opponent can also hear. Cheerful monologues on where you have hidden are discouraged. Responding to rhetorical questions like "where's Ellie?" with "Here I am! Hiding behind the couch!" is also a bad strategy. Giggling, ok, we can probably manage selective deafness with regards to giggling.
  4. When it is your turn to seek, it is considered bad form to follow the other person around so you can see where they're going to hide.
  5. Sometimes people are better at this game than you, particularly if they are older, and have a grasp on points 1-3. This does not mean they have left the house, just that you can't find them. The accepted response is to call "Ally-ally-in-come-free" or even just "I give up, where are you?", not hyperventilate yourself into silent hysterics before they realize something's wrong and come out.*
  6. On subsequent rounds, hiding in the same spot every time is not very effective. Hiding in the spot where you just found the other person also contains a certain logical fallacy.
  7. In summary: the entire game.

She still insists we play it all the time, though. I blame Sesame Street.



* My mother insists she was just trying to demonstrate the effectiveness of points 1-3. The rest of us think she maybe takes winning games of hide-and-seek with a three year old a little seriously.

February Does Not Screw Around

01 March, 2015

So in February, I:

  • Went on my first vacation in three years, and;
  • Was robbed for the first time, and;
  • Had to replace my phone, iPad, vacuum, power supply on my husband's computer, and car, and;
  • Lost the cat my parents had entrusted to me up a 50-foot tree in freezing temperatures, and;
  • Was really, really cold through all of it (except the vacation).

Fuck me, February.

Most of this resolved itself well enough. I can survive cold, even record cold, and while I am one of those people who finds Stuff comforting and clings to her old Stuff well beyond the point of reason because replacing it will be so disorienting and traumatic, I am intellectually fond of all the new things we've had to buy and will in time come to even like them, once they're not all new and freaky. (The new and exciting debt load, I'm, well, trying not to think about.) And yes, the cat is fine, although my only part in this, aside from finding him, was uttering a minimum of distracting screams while my brother hung at the top of a stupidly tall tree in a climbing harness and fifty-year-old tree spikes hastily scavenged from a pawnshop stuffing a freaked-out cat into a bag.* My brother is a hero of the revolution.

The only part that's still squicking me slightly is the robbery, and not for the expected reasons.

Book Neepery

13 January, 2015

I have been reading more books this winter, for various reasons, but at the moment I'm mostly blaming my friend Laura Anne, and my mother. Laura Anne had (for various complicated reasons) ended up with a large box of books from our World Fantasy 2012 swag bags* which had, for various also complicated reasons, been unclaimed until recently, when she declared she was moving to Seattle and thus we would be getting a large box of books forthwith. My mother had a birthday, which meant a birthday party, which meant me cleaning my filthy pigsty of a house. Getting the large box of books properly shelved was low on the priority list (as well as requiring a substantial amount of time and -- given the amount of space on my shelves -- possibly a chisel), so they were dumped in the bedroom.

This means I have been walking past an open box of unread books every night on my way to bed.

Thus, I've been reading a lot lately.

One of my most recent grabs resulted in some brain overflow, which my husband has so far resisted hearing, so you're getting it. "Too much overthinking of book flaws" warning ahead....

Meet the New Blog...

01 January, 2015

So a month or two ago I visited this site -- something I don't do often, as it inspires the same emotional mix as seeing the pile of molding, half-ruined boxes in our basement still packed from our move in 2010: guilt, shame, and an unreasoning terror of actually opening the boxes and seeing what a mess my laziness has made of the contents. The difference is, I don't have to go to the website to do my laundry.

But on this visit the site wasn't just shameful: it was blank. It seems the CMS I'd installed lo, those many moons ago had been silently sunset. It was the equivalent of the boxes breaking and spilling their contents out over the floor. I could no longer pretend the mess didn't exist. And, of course, in the process of sweeping up, I found all kinds of things, some best forgotten, some that left me wondering why I'd left them packed away so long.

The bottom line:

  • The old blog has been rescued, and can be accessed here, for those who remember old posts fondly.
  • The Mary Sue Test, which to my mild bemusement remains very popular, has been slightly updated and tweaked, and I've added some explanation of why I chose the questions I did back, er, ten years ago, when I took a wild hare to write the thing.
  • The rest of the site has been streamlined. Certain things have been dropped, in particular the shamefully out-of-date agent page; it was a great resource and I'll miss it, but it was time to admit I was never going to have the time to keep it up as it should be. What remains has received a facelift, making it look a bit less like something I tossed together in 2003.
  • In the process I remembered that I rather like things like blogging, so I've installed this blog, on a more robust (read: "even if it breaks I can probably fix it myself") platform, and will probably try and update it more frequently. You know, at least once a year.

Happy New Year, all. Enjoy the new-ish site, let me know if there's any problems, and I'll try to be around at least a little more.